Updated: Mar 2
I’ve moved enough times to employ 20 individuals at the United States Postal Service with my address changes alone. I’ve packed my things and made new homes in space after space. I’ve made new relationships, and lost many relationships.
I’ve wept as my heart ached for family and community during my lonely seasons. And I’ve rejoiced as I ran into the arms of those who would welcome me.
I’m no stranger to change, and I’m most certainly not afraid of it. I am a daughter that is most yielded to the voice of her Father. I was encountered by the presence of God 5 years ago in my studio apartment in Northern Michigan, and that was enough. It only takes one true encounter, one true look...and after that moment, the rest is history.
Since the encounter I had with God, I’ve run after His plans and His presence like a German Shephard chases after a tennis ball. My prayer life changed from what God could do for me to, “what am I meant to do for God”. It didn’t matter where I was, who I was with, what I was doing...as long as it was for Him. That began looking like me selling everything and driving across the country to attend ministry school for a year. Then two years. Then three years.
Thereafter, it looked like packing things up and moving to Los Angeles. After that, it was Palm Springs. And here today, for the upteenth time...it’s back where the journey began; Redding, California.
Tears fall from my lashes and clash off my keyboard, as I sit here in the heavy reality that this is my new home. Change doesn’t frighten me, but it comes with weighty process, especially if you are one who tends to invest yourself well.
Too often I hear people wondering and worrying about if they are in the right place at the right time, with the right job, in the right relationship... I myself can raise my hand and admit I’ve found myself in that storm of wondering more times than I’d like to admit. We all just want to do the right thing, and feel the ease of fulfillment that comes from it. At the root of it all...you could also say we all just want to be in the midst of our purpose; what we are truly meant to be here for. That place, is where we find the fulfillment and feeling of success that so many chase after for the courses of their existence.
As I’m curled over my Macbook writing to you, I feel him sitting next to me, washing me with revelation...A sweet sweet song that sings to me about purpose. A lot of us miss the mark when it comes to understand this. We’re so hungry to just know what we’re to do and why we’re alive that we run ourselves into the ground trying to figure it out.
I looked everywhere for my purpose, years ago. I looked for it in men, in fame, in money, in the size and decor of my apartment, or the designer that boasted its name on the tags of my clothes.
This isn’t meant to be a cliche “Christianese” article on Jesus being the center of it all. He is...but I guess the heart of what I’m explaining is that as I’m here once more, in the middle of transition, in the middle of new, I’ve learned that I can’t get it wrong when I know who’s I am. And I can’t miss a thing when I know who He is.
I suppose I want you to know that you don’t need to worry, my friend. You’re not going to miss it, and you’re not going to ruin your destiny. I love you, but you’re far too small to ruin God’s ultimate plans for your life.
I encourage you today, wherever you are on the scale of transition, to sink into the arms of God. When was the last time you paused and listened for His voice over your life? Not who you’ll marry or when, or how much money your business will accrue in the next 12 months...no. But His purpose for you. Why He put breath in you, and why He made you to be who you are? When is the last time you let the rain of your eternal purpose soak you to the skin?
From your friendly chaser of purpose...I want to tell you that it will all be okay.
I pinky swear.
Release the pressure from yourself to make life happen on your own strength. Break from your feet the chains of feeling like you have to be in the right place at the right time for good things to happen. Just lay back and sink into the assurance of truth.
I believe you can do it, and I believe in the peace and joy that will follow as you do.
Here’s to life, and here’s to wildness. To being submitted and to being open to change. Here’s to life’s ups and life’s many downs. To the laughs, the tears, the goods and the bads. It will all work together for good. It always does. And it always has.