Isn’t it stunning the power of the heart? It carries both the capacity to love deeply and radically, and also the aptitude to grieve as it follows through with the hope it attached to something. I wouldn’t wish heartbreak and pain upon the devil himself…but I do find it beautiful that the heart, if cared for, nurtured and free…has the capability to love without restraint, and to choose something so supernaturally, that even the human it’s resident inside of is surprised. An inauthentic heart would be okay with pain and loss. But nay, it’s the way we were made, and the pain you are feeling is a sign of your heart’s integrity.
One of the greatest mistakes we can make is laying down love upon the alter of disappointment and heartbreak, in fear that if we pick it up again…the risk of a repeat outweighs the potential for the kind of love story Hollywood writes about.
Pain can be blinding. But in reality, pain is in part the indicator, the measuring stick illuminating the level of investment you had in a situation, person or thing… and it needs not anymore spotlight than it already has. I believe one of the keys to healing in our circumstance is not trying to understand and dissect the pain so much, but rather, choosing to take a look at the investment…the depth at which you gave your heart, and the purity with which you opened yourself up to trusting in something good. Yes, thisis something worth talking about, and it takes immense amounts of courage to do so.
Too often, we’re fooled into believing the opposite. That partnering with pain, and sacrificing our beliefs to it, will make the process of healing accelerate…victimizing ourselves, or looking for reason to antagonize the “culprit” of our heartache. It’s heard in songs, written in screenplays, and manifested in relationships around us. Naturally, that’d be a lot easier wouldn’t it? But to look for a box to label and place your pain in, is an act of self-protection that truly, is just avoidance to owning your own heart, and facing your own feelings.*Hence the great courage.
To gaze upon your circumstance, and have the strength to acknowledge what was beautiful, and the bravery to recall in gratitude the love, despite the pain, is one of the most heroic and mighty things your heart can do. Pain will tell you otherwise, for it thrives on the attention. But sweet, you simply can’t afford to give up. You’re so much greater than that. And if I’mchoosing between the chance to experience that unexplainable love again, or be held hostage by fear, laying down my gift to love someone for the sake of worshipping pain…I choose the first option, every time. No matter the cost.
Pain isn't our friend that we call up on a Friday night...but, if you allow it to be what it is, and listen to its findings...it can be the arrow that points you back to truth. By all means, give it permission to run wild inside of you, bumping and tripping over the areas that need healing, but in no way shape or form is it meant to sign a lease. It isn’t there to stay.
You’ll recognize it, when it’s time to kick it to the curb. There will come a time when pain will have exhausted its visit, and I promise you, you’ll be strong enough to say goodbye. But as you wave au revoir, don’t forget that love never left. It’s been sitting there all along, patiently waiting. And as you close the door, and watch the silhouette of pain get smaller and smaller, you’ll feel your heart rise again; you’ll feel yourself dream again. And that feeling you thought would swallow you whole will now become as unfamiliar as a stranger you pass on a busy street. The question burning in your heart will no longer be, “why”, but magically, “what if”. What if you dared to risk again? What if you dared to love? You were made for it. And there is no force greater.
If you’ve laid down love, there is hope for you today, and I’ll be the first to say, it will forever be worth it. And down the road, when your story comes to fruition, I hope we cross paths, so that I can give you a proper hug, and say, “I’m proud of you. You did it.” And it will be the story you carry that keeps hope alive for the rest of the radical lovers out there. Look forward to loving again, and don’t hold back. Your heart is the most radiant gift, and it deserves to be treasured.